the forgotten little ones

surrender... a word I find in my speech almost daily

2012-02-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

"Jesus was forcing His disciples to trust Him. God would have to come through for them because they had nothing else to fall back on. This place of trust isn't a comfortable place to be; in fact, it flies in the face of everything we've been taught about proper planning. We like finding refuge in what we already have rather than than in what we hope God will provide. But when Christ says to count the cost of following Him, it means we must surrender everything. It means being willing to go without an extra tunic or a place to sleep at night, and sometimes without knowing where we are going."
Francis Chan

The above quote from "Crazy Love" reminds me so much of how our life has nothing to do with us but all about God, an all consuming and powerful creator who gave us life and everything that we need to live our lives to the full. Yet our life is but a breadth here on this earth. I am being challenged to live life not for myself or what I can get out of God or this world but how my life will glorify Him. I want to join Him in this adventure of life and not simply ask Him to come along side the destiny I set for myself.

I believe He has been teaching me these things in these past years of my life with purpose as I have come to that place more and more of learning to trust in Him with full abandon. Still, I have a long ways to go where I can fully lean on Him in moments of anxiety, insecurity and doubts of the present and the future. Needless to say this journey is a freeing one and thus as I embark upon my newest journey, I am reminded over and over again to lean on Him and to step out in faith, one step at a time, because He is guiding.

I may not see fully what He is doing or directing me to do. I don't have the complete picture yet. I do, however, have pieces of the puzzle. I will be honest and admit I am scared to take the next steps that He is guiding me down as they will take an act of faith. I have ideas about what the end of this year will look like, however, I know well they could change as has been my life's journey, in particular the last 3 years since I left to do full time missions. Beyond these steps, I am learning to move forward in faith and absolute trust, much like the disciples must have experienced, and surrender my future to Him. Trusting that He has my steps ordered.

Mid March I will leave Kansas City once again to start a new journey. I will be going to Portland, Oregon for a month to learn more of what the Women and Children's Advocacy Center does and all aspects of its operation as a ministry. I have been trained and seen first hand their training workshops in Costa Rica. A team of us will then travel to S. Africa for a 2 week training in which a church there has invited the WCAC to train some of its members. From S. Africa, I plan to travel to Australia, where I will stay for some time with my good friends in Sunshine Coast while figuring out my next steps and traveling and networking with the contacts I have in Australia and then to other locations of Oceania.

He is doing a new thing!

2012-01-08T16:56:00.000-08:00

Scene: Wendy's in downtown San Jose, Costa Rica with fend for yourself seating and others lurking to take your table as soon as you get up....

characters: my friend Christy and I, our almost weekly meeting up (after she takes two or three buses down from the mountains and I wait a long time to pick up a bus close to my apartment)

Christy: "I have something for you." hefting her 30 pound backpack on the table

I smile and think to myself... Oh dear, now what kind of surprise does my spontaneous friend have for me? Out proceeds a rather large seashell... mind you we are not close to the beach, over several hours by car, so she had toted this shell with her over some what of a strenuous journey.

Christy: "As I was cleaning/shining this shell God told me to give this to you."

Now I am the owner of a fine shell that has been transported back with me months later to my temporary home in Kansas City. She told me that in my next journey/season I was going to be like this seashell that rides the waves. I won't know where I am to go or my next step until I proceed and God will be guiding it every step of the way.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isa. 30:21

Of course this was just additional confirmation that He is guiding me but no direct answer or location. My other good friend Marcel and I commited to fasting and praying together for my next steps prior to me leaving Costa Rica. I was somewhat hesitant to return to KC without an idea of my next steps or specific direction. My friend received the same that I would not know my next steps until I arrived back in KC.

Its been a testing of my patience and faith to be home with so little "known." I have been anxious to figure it all out, but He has been so faithful in the midst of it all. I realized once I arrived home, how burntout I was and needed His refreshing and healing. Needless to say its been a difficult past three months but oh so good and a chance for me to learn to TRUST without fear and be healed and restored to a place where soon I will be ready to minister again. I needed to recenter and refocus on Him, my purpose for doing ministry and not the daunting need that exists.

I, as of this week, felt a "go" and a quickening in my pulse to begin taking steps out in faith; knock on those doors and test the waters. For many months now I have felt Him tell me to go where my heart leads me. Maybe to the majority of people that would seem like a huge relief; to me its just scary. Perhaps I am even scared to dream BIG, because honestly I have some crazy dreams.

I have felt for sometime my season in Latin America is over. I have longed to visit other parts of the world but felt that was just my adventurous and exploring side of me. I never thought that maybe it is truly a part of who I am and how God created me to embark upon and work with many nations and people groups. I also began to have this deep need within me to embrace a people group and place as my own and finally root. I know to those who know me well, that may be truly shocking. I have always been a free spirit, living simply with little to no earthly attachments.

So I had to ask myself what is it exactly that makes me tick and where, if I was given the choice to choose any location and ministry, what would that look like? I decided that the most recent tug on my heart was towards rooting somewhere yet would this take away from that innate side of me that still desires to invest in and travel to other parts of the world? How would those things meld together? Was I being crazy in thinking there was a way to do both? Would I be able to root somewhere and pioneer ministry and training on location while still taking and providing support and training abroad?

My answers seem to come through my dialect with friends/contacts with the Women and Children's Advocacy Center as well as those working as leaders in YWAM bases. I am dialoging with the possibility of pioneering and networking with my contacts in Australia/PNG/Samoa/Vanuatu and elsewhere; while still praying about the specific location in this part of the world to root. My ideas for now are to see how I can work with the WCAC (Women and Children's Advocacy Center) and YWAM bases in Oceania, this particular part of the world, and from there doing pioneering, investigation and networking while being available to take the celebrate children training (through the WCAC) to remote locations where people are already working with children and women at risk and just need more support, training and resources. I also want to be back on a base and a part of community life. So, I will most likely work to help as part time staff wherever I end up.

Details and specifics to follow.... still praying and working it out. Will be posting more regularly.

Discovering the Concept of Home

2011-11-07T01:15:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking of late... wouldn't it be so nice to just simply click my heels and say there is "no place like home, there is no place like home" and suddenly, I am home. The question is, where is home exactly? This concept or word "home" what does that mean exactly? This is what I have been asking God, where is the place that He wants me to root? I have this innate desire to root; finally (just as I am to those who know me best, a free spirit) the idea of rooting somewhere used to be so binding and so restrictive now I just think how reassuring it would be to know where in the globe I am to establish myself next. I was so convinced I was called to remain in Latin America; I no longer feel I am tied to Latin America only. Many have spoken words over my life that I am "called to the nations." So what does that look like exactly? A pretty crazy concept. I spoke with Janna recently about it. Janna is the founder/director of the Women and Children's Advocacy Center and she has attempted to help me discover what it is exactly that I want to do for my next steps. The ironic part of it all is that really I could go anywhere its not so much about location as what exactly I want to do once I get there.

I went last week to the prophetic room/ministry at IHOP (International House of Prayer) to get some direction and clarity. I did get some encouraging words that God is speaking but definitely not specifics or location. The funny thing is what was confirmed in this time was more of my giftings and strengths which is quite ironic as they saw such variety and diversity in my giftings and strengths; some I have known for a long time others that I have discovered only recently. Yet I left definitely more encouraged but also more confused about exactly what or how these giftings will have place in the next location God calls me to. I feel strongly somehow all the little pieces of my life and the giftings will be used in my next location, which I sense will be long-term and where I can root and then go out and do shorter term work from there.

The other ironic thing about having spent time in the prayer room/IHOP is that I happened to walk out into the foyer for a second and while there I overheard some guys conversing and that one of the guys had a t-shirt with the slogan/words "Sex + money" (for those of you who don't know, this is a particular project initiated by YWAM to document the sex trade and its impact on modern day slavery). The interesting part of it all is this was a reminder to me of some of the training and research that have played a huge role in my life in the past years in missions. The embodiment of this all while working to train volunteers in areas of justice with YWAM, getting training through Not for Sale in the areas of anti-trafficking, and now spending time at IHOP. I feel lately God has been stirring more and more a passsion for 24/7 intercession and worship in my heart just as pioneering; beginning any ministry and work comes about through a huge investment in prayer and years of asking and seeking God for wisdom and His hand to begin and direct in the initial stages and as the backbone throughout any ministry. Exactly how this all will meld, come into existence, I am yet clueless; I just sense God stirring my heart more and more to find out exactly how He is going to put all those pieces of my various interests, passions, training and experiences into practice or to at least, make a little sense of the random order of my journey.

This video below is put out by my friends doing a series of videos on Human Trafficking in Costa Rica:

Alrevez. [Backwards] from ofbrokenwings on Vimeo.

A Time for Everything...

2011-10-31T22:13:00.000-07:00

Its 1:30 a.m. and I am up... really feel like I should stop and truly process. Would love to process with someone right now but sometimes its harder to explain verbally, so here goes my attempt.

I am back in the U.S. indefinitely after a 3 year stretch in Latin America. I am not sure how to feel or be. I had a nice re-entry welcome at 1 a.m. when my 3 new roomies, who just happen to be some of my closest friends and sister. We all went to bed far too late that night. When I woke up I felt sad to not be in a foreign country any longer or with people as my roomies had all gone to work. However, the rest of the day kept getting better and better. First of all, the weather here has been freakin' amazing.. ie. for October ... in the 80s, sunny and gorgeous with trees just now beginning to change color. This is the first time I have seen true Fall in 4 years. Autumn is my favorite season! Then I get home and went to the Boiler Room where I proceeded to meet 2 individuals; one was in YWAM for 4 years in various countries and the other who has been working with children at risk in KC and is going to open a home for children in need in KC. Crazy, no matter where I turn, God won't let me go too far from my calling/passions.

Bringing liberty to the Captives

2011-09-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

I wanted to share a bit of the theme of our base today... raising awareness and praying for victims of human trafficking. One of the students of our school lead an intercession time with the base, challenging us to move and act out on behalf of these victims globally. He shared that if each of us could share with at least 3 friends of ours, links that raise awareness to this area of injustice; asking them to do the same and share with three of their friends, then awareness is multiplied on a large scale. So I am writing this blog to do just that and ask others to join me.

Having done a 2 week training in 2010 with Not for Sale and having friends who have worked in this area to combat human trafficking, stirs my passion and my heart for what is happening globally. In some way, I feel God is going to use this training and my passion in my next season of life. I am excited to see just how He unfolds this and directs me in my next steps.

I also felt my personal conviction is once again to remember my new year's resolution to only purchase fair-trade chocolate and coffee. I have wavered in this commitment a bit over the past months, but I will admit it is hard in a country that sells little to no "fair-trade" products. Still, with your help, I want to be held accountable again and finish my commitment to the end of the year and then reassess after the end of 2011. Please join with me and keep me accountable as I know my purchases and conscience are being held accountable to the millions of slaves all over the world that are sold for my consumer benefit along with my fellow citizens of the world.

Dreaming.... birth of an ever-expanding vision

2011-08-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

Remember when you were young and you dreamt of exploring and conquering the whole wide world; no limitations or boundaries... the earth was your backyard? I remember playing, as nerdy as this is, star wars with my friends and turning our whole basement into a city of tents and space ships where we could go forth into all unknown planets and space....

This analogy is in a way what I feel God is bringing to life once again for me personally and for this school. The words I heard Him speak for these students were about renewing their dreams from childhood; challenging them, all of us, to not only dream, but dream BIGGER. Many have since come to me to tell me that in these past weeks He has been not only reminding them of those past dreams, but reminding them how He has and is fulfilling and making those dreams a reality. Not only are they seeing their dreams realized in their young adult years but now HE is giving them new visions and dreams greater and more radical than those from childhood. Who can truly upon looking back on their life as an adult or even on their death bed, recognize these often times, unrealistic or impossible dreams that have come to be in full fruition?

I personally am so privileged to have done so much in my short life thus far.... dreams of learning another language, ministering to street children, living in another country, living in Latin America, working as a missionary/volunteer, training, becoming a trainer, having a legal career, getting a degree, making friends/contacts all over the world, having explored many parts of the world, even on the other side of the world.... And yet there are so many new dreams God has been birthing in me since living abroad, but more so in these past months, i.e. recently.

I have mentioned the Women and Children's Advocacy Center in previous blogs. I will add the link to their ministry again. I have been feeling more and more in some form or fashion my next steps will be partnering with them in many ways. I don't know exactly how or what that will look like. As some of you are aware my commitment here in Costa Rica will end with the end of the lecture phase which is September 23rd. I have been processing and praying about my next steps. I do feel that my season/time in Costa Rica and probably in Latin America is coming to a close. I have thoroughly enjoyed learning and living here but my heart is stirring for other things, parts of the world, to pioneer new things and enter into a new season where I discover where my own ministry will be birthed. I have received words and challenges from others and in my seeking our Heavenly Father that I am called to the Nations; which in many ways is a new challenge and comes as a surprise to me. I always thought my calling and passions would be realized in being established in Latin America. Recently He has been stirring my heart for other places in the world. I am not sure where or how exactly that will come about. Would you join me in praying for clear direction and provision in this?

The School is half way through and I will need to know my next steps in the next few weeks so I can book a ticket. I also will need to begin fundraising as going to another part of the world and establishing myself will take more funding than I have currently been able to raise.

Check out this video and just one of the projects the WCAC is involved in.... inspires me to go forth and change the world one step at a time... I pray it inspires you in the same way....

Women & Children's Advocacy Centre from wcacentre on Vimeo.

A Labor of Love

2011-06-04T21:37:00.000-07:00

So... this expression has been playing over in my mind "you win some and you lose some"... its sort of how life works when you work with children at risk globally. It takes a liftetime of investment to individual children to make a long-term impact, but you know what? I am seeing the fruit of even shorter-term investment. This gives me hope.

Since being back in San Jose, Costa Rica, I am excited to be able to support my room mate here who began as my student, then friend, staff for the Children at Risk School(CRS) and finally leader of Metro ministries in Costa Rica. It has been a huge responsibility and undertaking but since I left to go to Mexico, the entire ministry was placed in her lap. Since, she has made this ministry her own and there is visible fruit to see from her labors already. Even more exciting to me, when I go and help her with the kid's ministry, I see her putting into practice what she has learned from the year she took the CRS and training and how God prepared her at this time to be a pioneer. She could never have imagined she would be running such a program on her own or how God worked it all out, but its a perfect fit for her. I enjoy seeing not only the kid's faces light up seeing the "Metro Kids" truck coming to their neighborhood but also Renate's face as she shares with the kids about God. To read more about her ministry, I have included the website on this blog. To me, this is the fruit of our training and school. At times I get discouraged asking myself how am I personally impacting these kids lives but in moments like these, are when God reminds me that the impact the students are having from the training they received is multiplied so many times over than what I can alone do. By disciplining, training and encouraging the students to dream big and to go forward in the vision God has given them utilizing their gifts, impacting, restoring and bringing His light to the broken children all over the world; it brings me joy and allows me to "stay the course," in essence.

Another exciting thing that I get to see is how the Freeman family has been able to pioneer work with children and youth at risk in a town in Costa Rica called Jaco. I have blogged about this area before where we as the 1st Children at Risk School did three months of outreach, researching the need and the resources and work that was already going on there. Jaco is known for "sex tourism" and it also has several migrant communities that live in impoverished conditions in the river areas of this town. Since this school's outreach, there has been another group of students continuing the pioneering work there as well as yet another couple of students from the CRS in Tijuana there right now. I can already see the impact and change that community has had just simply by people investing and networking and unifying the work that is already going on in the town. The Freeman family, with whom we pioneered the CRS, moved there about a year ago and have a heart and vision to see change in that community as they are commiting long term there. Several of the youth we worked with, have grown and changed. Some had considered doing a DTS in San Jose but unfortunately they ended up choosing their own path which seemed not to be the best choice for them. Yet, I trust in God that the seeds that were planted in their hearts from the Freemans and students loving on them, will ultimately bear fruit in their lives long-term. One boy in particular came this weekend to San Jose and seeing how he went from being a youth who had no value, to who he is today, allows me to see simply in his demeanor, the value put back into his life through knowing his value and worth in God. All the labor is well worth the effort. I remember when we used to ask him what he liked to do or was good at, as all the others boys surfed, played soccer, worked, etc. he said nothing and he really meant it. He just went to school to kill time and then would go play video games all day. He would walk around with his head hung low. Now he walks around with a lot of confidence in himself and knowing and recognizing God's presense and his value in God. He is a different teenager than I knew over a year ago and its because a few guys and girls took time to invest in him and help him see his value. This is why we do what we do! He now surfs and the funny thing is; just today he showed me his profile pic on FB of him surfing the waves, which prompted me to write this post. Please keep the Freeman family and team in your prayers as they are going forward working in a local preschool and also continuing to work with the youth in this town through surf and skate competitions and being open to simply forming relationships that are planting seeds in the lives of these often forgotten children and youth of Jaco.

Celebrating Children

2011-04-27T16:28:00.000-07:00

The students begin their journey to Costa Rica

I stepped into a whole new paradigm of my little world this past week. Its funny I would not think of it as culture shock, but in ways it really is the definition of culture or reverse-culture shock. I am still in Latin America and in a warm climate culture and yet so very different. For those who don’t know, a team of three students from the CRS school in Tijuana, Mexico, and I embarked on our newest journey. For them, an entirely new experience, for me, my previous life. As I am processing in more detail, I realize this is the 1^st time since I moved from the U.S. to Costa Rica, 2 + years ago, that I am actually dwelling in Costa Rica, during this season of the year. It is a very different atmosphere here, the departure of the summer/dry season and introduction into the rainy/cooler season and yet its unique weather here in CR for this time of year, as I have been told. The rainy season has come early. This is a blessing to me in many ways as I discovered shortly before we left Tijuana that we will be a part of a 2 week training on issues of children at risk in Jaco, Costa Rica, my old familiar home for 3+ months in 2009 and get away off and on during 2010.

Hiking in Jaco

Preparing the classroom with the Freeman boys

So, leaving the base in Tijuana was a sad event. It was like leaving my home and family behind. However the 2 weeks in Jaco was exactly what I needed. Just before I left for Jaco I felt overwhelmed, tired, burnt out and ready for a long vacation. I couldn’t imagine at the time doing yet another 2 weeks of intense training. Good thing God knows better than I, what I need. The training was intense and a very tight schedule with little time for beach or adventures. However, by the end of the 2 weeks, I was encouraged, renewed in vision for the upcoming Children at Risk school and my life , well rested and refreshed. I was able to spend some good time plugging into God and hanging out with a group of people, my friends who all came from Oregon to train and encourage the Freeman family as well as us in our next steps into ministry to children at risk. We were trained to become trainers who could take the “celebrating children” workshop anywhere in the world with the tools needed to encourage and build up individuals all over the world who are already working with children in need but don’t have all the tools we have readily accessible. The Women and Children’s Advocacy Centre has taken this training to other parts of the world, last location was Rwanda. I was given tools and the ability to teach some of these topics and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing how God allowed me to recognize a hidden passion and gifting for creatively teaching. It was a really fun and rewarding time.

After a week of intense training... we all lost it!

I sense that I have been given new vision, excitement and tools to take this with me where ever God leads me next, and that I am not restricted year after year of up to a 9 month commitment in the Children at Risk schools. I can commit to the next place He leads me to and make the training available to the community where I will minister to next in less than a 9 month long process. I anticipate being available to do hands on ministry, not restricted simply to solely training and running schools. I am excited for how this will play out in this upcoming school I will be leading and in the next steps God leads me in. Please continue to pay with me clear and direct next steps in leading the school that begin in July, 2011 and then after September, 2011.

A day at the beach with the team students and trainers

What an Amazing and yet Unexpected Year....

2011-03-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

Representing our countries in Zona Norte

building relationships with the kids, my favorite part!

Pondering on the new season of my life that is approaching ever so quickly and ooking back on my year last year here in Mexico, makes me realize how blessed I have been. I never planned to stay more than 3 months; God had other plans. I feel its been one of the best years of my life to be quite honest. Full of research, pioneering, pouring into kid's lives, building long-lasting relationships and growing in so many different talents and abilities by being thrown into work and life here on this base. Life is never boring on a YWAM base. I have been able to assist in administrative work, hospitality, cooking, cleaning, ministry, tutoring children, assisting with hosting teams, building homes, running large events, translation, organizing and providing training for staff here who work with children at risk, and prepping for the school.

Craft Time!

Perhaps some of the most exciting things I got to do here was join in ministry as well as research and pioneer ministry here. Makes me wander if God is truly calling me to work and grow in other giftings and abilities that I never assumed I would be able to walk in, along side the talents or passions He already gave me. In missions, in many ways one is forced to be a pioneer. If you want to walk out in your passions, often you have to create the ministry or go find where the need is and how best to reach those in need. I was able to join others in ministry here on the base who pioneered work in a neighborhood here where land was alloted to poor families by the government, through helping to tutor the children. I never imagined I would want to or even be good at that, but I love it. I loved watching the kids grow to love learning and seeing them excel in an already over-burdened school system. I loved to see the hardened girls and boys in the jouvenile hall we visit, learn to love to sing and pray to God. I loved walking the streets of the red light district here, to get even the slightest idea of how much God's heart breaks for the individuals there. I enjoyed the discovery of how little it takes to brighten up a child's already burdened life by simply just taking a program of games, crafts and stories to them and by sharing God's love to them. I was blessed to invest in one of the families here, being an emotional support to the mom while we took her to drug rehab, taking the kids to visit their mom, and building a house for them and their grandmother. Wow! There have been so many moments that have filled this past year to overflow for me. So many great people and friends.... I will miss intensely. I love my students and I love the staff here. I also am blessed by the leaders on this base, their humility and surrendered lives to God and the way they lovingly guide us as their flock.

Baseball.... an upcoming phenomenom in Zona Norte

Perhaps my fondest memories... are with working with the children in the red light district. As we have been building relationships with them, we are moving past the "honeymoon" stage and getting to really know the kids and see how they react. Some are very hardened "street kids" who are displaying signs of so many behaviours and dysfunctions and those are the kind that I seek out the most and want God to allow me to touch their lives. They are the kind that are tough to love but oh so in NEED of God's love. Pray with me for them.

wait, are we frozen????

Leviticus 19:33 We are all foreigners on this earth...

2011-02-14T00:50:00.000-08:00

Team work!

needs a little improvement

We had our work cut out for us...

improving....

For those of you who don't know, with this past week came an unexpected adventure and nuance to our previously scheduled week. Due to speaker cancellation, a new plan birthed in the form of local outreach week. Going into the week, we (as staff) had only minimal information about the overall picture/plan for the week. I discovered that about 50 of us (staff and students for 2 schools) were headed off to Ensenada (about an hour south of TJ) for the week to work and live in a migrant camp. Of course, I was a little surprised and anxious about what all that entailed, but well, its the way things go in my life and I have learned to be more and more flexible and take things in stride. Looking back, I wouldn't change anything for the world. The week was such an amazing bonding and stretching time for us all.

and completed with space to sleep...

In part, we were all out of our element for 4 days: dirt floors as our bed, out houses as our bathroom, no showers, the great outdoors as our kitchen/living space, bucket water for dish clean up, etc. We dug 9+ foot holes for another outhouse. Our first project upon arrival was to clean out the rooms we would sleep in. It was not a fun task as the dirt floors were covered in trash and waste and smelled unpleasant. I am sure these rooms had not been cleaned out for a long time. By the time we had them cleaned, minus the bugs, spider webs and trash, and painted; they were transformed into liveable space.

Digging to Japan...

The ironic part of it all is that many families live in these tiny one-room houses with as many as 10 individuals. Its crazy but really a part of their lives, and to them its not a burden or uncomfortable. The people, families and kids were so amazing and hospitable. Its funny though this time I didn't get attached to the kids but more the women. I am still processing why but I think maybe its due to the fact that I wanted my students to have that experience with the kids, where I have had many times previously. Also maybe I have been closing my heart off to getting too attached to kids who come and go in my life only to leave after a short time. It could have been the fact that I was needed to bridge the language gap with the women.

These indigenous women and children... so beautiful them as well as their culture! and well.... they live simplistic lives but are happy and grateful for their lives even though their lives are burdened with hard work! I know my students as well as I got a little taste of the lives they lead as we worked hard all week digging 9+ feet holes for an outhouse, trenches for drainage paths, hygenic water holes for waste as well as filling in an area with dirt that had become a festering water pool with waste and trash. Yet they all did so with amazing attitudes and so much enthusiasm. It challenged me in how I approach life and work.

ummmhhh... can we keep them, pretty please?????

Creating a "clean" environment

good sport, Liz!

With the women, I don't know how much I have to offer to them, other than my friendship. I know nothing about being a mom or wife. One of the women was 15 and pregnant and she looked like she could have been 30, makes me wander how hard her life is. Another shared about her life

Making a stove out of tin cans... principles of community development

growing up and how her parentes would wake her and her siblings up at 1 a.m. to work until the next day, physically and emotionally abusing them. All these individuals are migrants who come from other parts of Mexico looking for work and a better way of life. Often they work from sunup to sunset at least 6 days a week manual labor. Although to us, it may seem like such a tragic way of life, most were content to be in a place where they could at least earn a living, despite the hard labor and living conditions. It makes me wander how much more simple life could be....

taking steps forward in someone else's shoes or lack thereof

2011-02-01T17:32:00.000-08:00

http://www.stepsofjustice.org/

my random thoughts on this day of shoelessness (yes, its my word invention)...

shoot, I forgot its "no shoes" day... but its rainy and cold... why can I not find (while searching frantically) the shoes I had decided to give?... instead submitting to the fact that I will give my flip-flops.... later realizing that actually giving my cheap flip-flops would be more of a sacrifice, more humbling as they are cheap shoes to give and that well, I NEED those for the shower.... I mean after all they are my only summer shoes. ;-)

uggghhhh! ugly feet, soar and abused feet.... its not that bad, freeing, really then by late afternoon.. I WANT my shoes, I feel dirty, tired of getting up the nerve to walk through the rocks... why do we have to have rock beds? and awww... nice, soft dirt....

What is it like for others around the world who experience their lives with no shoes? To be honest if it is part of your culture/lifestyle, it would be strange to be forced to wear shoes. I imagine one would walk around with calloused feet, yet I have been told its good for your feet, after all some of the fastest runners in the world... run shoeless. Sure, when its cold/muddy it protects us from the elements but if that is what your body is used to somehow it builds up immunities.

I guess in all this... yes, it is suffering to walk shoeless, against the elements or when the path is rugged, even possibly for health reasons.... worms, etc. It is good to lay aside things we take for granted on a regular basis and its makes me appreciate my comfy and carefree life as it is. I do appreciate what I have processed this day but more importantly I want to not just simply give of my possessions but of the best gifts that I possess; the ability to share out of the abundance and overflow of my relationship with the creator of the universe, who clothes the lilies of the field.

Finally... the students are here....

2011-01-11T11:11:00.000-08:00

Our students arrived by planes, cars, trains and buses.... It was a crazy busy day and I was so thankful to those students who arrived early and were ready to help me find others arriving in different locations at the same time. By the time we picked up the last student and crossed the border, they still had to settle in and get their bearings. This has been the somewhat chaotic introduction to this 1st week of school. Its been great. Our students are so amazing and excited to learn and then get their hands dirty in working with children in need. So far we are all adapting quite well.

Their schedule is full and overwhelming, yet they are in good spirits. I myself have been learning to let go of some of the comforts I have been used to and really, spoiled by, since arriving in Tijuana. I now live in the trailers, which don't always have warm water and we didn't have heat when we 1st arrived. It is now winter in Tijuana and quite brutal without heat. All in all I am/we all are adjusting. Please continue to pray for us all as we enter into the school and truly allow our minds and hearts to be available to once again be broken in a million pieces only to be healed and given new and true hope that can only come from our Father.

A Time to Build...

2010-10-26T21:50:00.001-07:00

These past 2 weeks have been crazy busy and just now I have had a few days to sit and ponder and breathe again. I like times of rest but am discovering more and more how I really would rather just "be" with people even on my times off, which is a little bit of a switch as an introvert. I guess I am becoming a extroverted introvert ;-).

About 2 weeks ago I went to a global forum on Human Trafficking that Not for Sale hosted near Orange County, CA. It was a 3 day event. Very inspiring and moving. They showed us a just released documentary called the "Dark Side of Chocolate" I have shown this to several here so far and its moved me to be a more conscientious consumer. It was also a challenging time for me to see so many people I know who I did my "Investigator Academy" training with just at the beginning of this year, doing some awesome things in South Africa and also locally. I had to ask myself ... "what am I doing?". Of course we have done lots of raising awareness, research, and training but I am ready to get out there and get my hands dirty. I feel so anxious to begin work with the kids in the red light district here and now that things have calmed down a bit, we are praying and organizing what program we can offer. So far, we have had 2 others besides our school staff who want to go down and begin offering some sort of classes/workshops for the kids. Also, on a positive note, our base leader's wife came and told me that her mother's small group in Germany gave a donation to help out and she wanted to give that donation to us for the program and also that she wants to help us in any way she can. This women's group also prays on a constant basis so we will have prayer support. Its definitely an answer to prayer. So, please pray with us and that we get others excited to do the same and also to have wisdom as to what and how to approach the kids.

On another fun note, I have been on 2 house builds these past weeks and though this is ministry I have not been required to participate in, I enjoyed it so much. Its a new side of ministry I am realizing I love to do, which really is something I don't need to add to all the rest of the work I enjoy and participate in .... still, it was so much fun. The 1st build was a total God appointment as I didn't realize until I got to the build that the family we were building for was the one I was able to take the mother to drug rehab some months ago. The grandmother is raising the kids while the mother is getting better, but just being with them and knowing what they and the mother has gone through, touched my heart intensely. It was a very fun (I got to help put on a roof) and emotional build. I pray and know God will restore their family soon and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to participate in the restoration process, even the small amount I could.

The 2nd build was a lot of fun as well. I got to help build with a team from Minnesota. They were amazing and so giving and hard working. The team made me miss being home in the midwest. In addition I got to go to Ensenada to visit several families they had previously built for and to talk and update the team on the progress of the families by helping translate, etc. It was a huge blessing to me to see this side of our ministry and also to see how staff are following up with the families. These communities are being infused little by little with God's love and His divine call on the lives of individuals who are reaching out helping hands to lift them out of the poverty cycle.

things to ponder at all hours of the night...

2010-09-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

ok, so these things have been on my mind lately... the victims and their stories... I feel very inspired to write tonight, which doesn't happen so often...

I often fall asleep or wake up at night trying to wrap my mind around these things.... like here I am, living a missionary life, full of abundance and blessing while the majority of the world suffers. Yet, back home people ask me how I can give up my blessed life to go elsewhere and give up my luxuries... yet, I live better than a large majority of the population that surrounds me ... and certainly have not suffered even 90 % of what others suffer daily worldwide....

These two stories....that have been on my mind lately, are what keeps me on my knees praying and asking what am I doing, what can I do, what can others.... you do....

The fact that this is sooo close to home, hits even harder... every week I cross one of the busiest border crossings in the U.S. One of our staff member's witnessed a guy trying to sell a 12 year old girl to another car while waiting in the traffic, leaving Mexico into the U.S. For more details...

http://www.stepsofjustice.org/2010/09/30/selling-sex-at-the-border

We are always aware that these things happen and watch for this kind of thing, but when we actually see it up close, its too much of a reality to take in. Just last week we witnessed a drug or trafficking bust just cars from us.... I am glad there are officials doing something, yet there is so much more getting through and in the border, not just hundreds, but thousands of similar cases. How does this happen.... why and what is our hand/responsibility in these horrendous acts of injustice?

Of course at first reading this story, my initial reaction is yeah, the trafficker got busted/arrested. Its a victory, a true Hollywood ending.. the bad guy gets locked up. However, we all know that does not end the story. My mind keeps going back to what happens to this little 12 year old girl, precious and made in the image of God to live a life of blessing and full knowledge of her value and worth in God and growing to be a beautiful and whole woman who radiates the image of God in all that she does. So, this time, the little girl gets saved from being sold to this particular man. I can't help to question.... how did she get taken and how did her innocent childhood go so wrong? Has she been sold before? Some get put into the sex trade as young as 6 years of age. Will she be destined to run back to the streets? Can she find her way home? Does she have a home to go to and if she does, are those family/home members the ones selling her? Does anyone care about her? Does anyone see her? Does anyone want to protect her? I know her heavenly father does and He will move on her behalf. Perhaps he allowed our friend/staff to see this in order for many to pray for her to be released from her situation. To me, she is lost forever in the system and why didn't the authorities take her and try to help her? Are we so concentrated on getting the bad guys that we are not paying attention to the victims? This little girl breaks my heart, that amongst so many other similar stories that go on everyday right under our noses... really in my neighborhood, but not just here in Mexico, in our neighborhoods in the suburbs and cities in the U.S.

Another story I feel compelled to share about is about a family of 3 kids we have been working with here in a poor colonia or neighborhood of Tijuana. They are approximately 5, 4, and 3 in ages. They are sooo cute. I have read the major signs of children at risk as I have interacted with them during our tutoring sessions as well as events we host with the kids. The middle one in particular I have had to work with regarding boundaries, i.e. with other kids, he is very violent and aggressive i.e. for a 4 year old. There was a time he wasn't fond of me as I sat with him, held him and discussed with him the wrong in hitting other kids; now he always gives me a hug and runs to see me each time I go there. This week he came up to me and asked me with a sad, long face when we were coming back and I responded to him... Raymundo, we always come on Thursdays, and to explain in terms a little child can understand "in a few days" we will come back. His little sad face as he turned to drag himself home broke my heart. It makes me ponder what goes on at home for those 3, often unkept children. I asked my friend, who teaches the kinder what she knew about them and she told me it seems that their mother works the streets and the father has never really wanted to take responsibility, in addition my friend thinks the mother is pregnant again and the grandparents are raising the three. This made me want to take them out of their situation and take them in as my own... of course that is/was my initial reaction. As much as I would love to protect them from their world; with my training and the wisdom God gives me, I know that is not always the best option for them. So, then what is my role? It breaks my heart that they have to continue in this life the way it is. What can we do to improve their situation? I know I can't do anything on my own. I don't necessarily have all the solutions, but wouldn't it be amazing and the most ideal situation if someone actually intervened and counseled/mentored the mother to know her value and worth and that she has options in this life and CAN become the mother that God created her to be, who she longs to be? Wouldn't it be amazing if the father would be counseled/discipled to become the man, provider, leader and protector for his family that God created him to be, and lastly that the grandparents get to simply enjoy being grandparents and not have to raise another generation of their children? More importantly than all this.... wouldn't it be ideal if these 3 beautiful children could grow up knowing a complete/whole and loving family who serve and know their creator and reflect the love He gives.... these are the things I ponder, sometimes in the early hours of the a.m. when I can't sleep... my thoughts

Never the perfect moment...

2010-09-12T12:10:00.001-07:00

I have been inspired recently to write an update. I do wish that writing my personal thoughts and recounting what I am seeing and doing here in Tijuana, Mexico was much easier to formulate into words. Its weird posting my thoughts and limited writing skills here for the world to see, if they come across this blog. I am more than glad to share with those closest to me, who already read and love hearing from me, whether I write about hippos in the zoo or about my most intimate thoughts. So, I have decided in my mind, that my audience is simply YOU... those who really do love me and are anxious to hear about what I am seeing, hearing, feeling and experiencing first hand, much of which YOU aren't able to experience personally due to responsibilities and circumstances at home. I will try my best to inspire you instead of bore you. And thank you for reading and more importantly, taking time to pray and support me and encourage me in what I feel God is leading me to partake in here in Tijuana, Mexico and in Latin America in general.

Ok, well, so what has been on my heart lately is street kids again. As most of you know, I felt a burden and passion to invest my time working with street kids since I was a teenager. I have had my experiences of working with street kids in both Brazil and Colombia. I miss those times greatly. Yet, God has led me to work in other areas as well with children at risk globally, making my focus much broader than I had anticipated. With God, you never know where you will go next. Its an exciting and adventurous, but sometimes stretching experience. I feel in many ways, although my focus with this year's Children at Risk School and also with my training in Dec. - Jan with Not for Sale, my focus has become more directed with trafficking victims; I feel God is tugging at my heart again to focus on street children, who are victims of trafficking themselves in most cases.

I feel I need to backtrack a little to explain a little of what we have been doing this past month, since I have written last. Amanda and I were privileged to host a Child Sexual Exploitation training at our base here in Tijuana, Mexico. About 20 staff from all 3 bases participated in the training. We felt a great desire and need to train our staff as we have recently been in contact with victims asking for our help, but without training, how can we assist them? It has been a great blessing and honor to meet Marissa Ugarte and Phil Gazley, both who have worked in the anti-trafficking movement for many years. They were able to give the training. I, as well as other staff members, feel better equipped to respond when we are faced with victims.

In addition to offering this training, we have been meeting with a guy in the red light district here in Tijuana who has been working with the children in this area for years. He is a truly genuine and humble man who lives out of his office, in order to make it financially. He works with people who want to come down to offer the children an alternative or something to better themselves and their lives. These children live and play on the streets during the day and most likely live in a rented room at night with their mother who works the streets. They are at high risk and every time we go down at night to pray over the streets and feed the homeless we see many kids out and about just roaming the streets. This scene breaks my heart even more than the heaviness I experience and see at almost every corner of the area.

Our base leader has agreed that some of us can begin going down and offering the kids some workshops; whether, dance, art, sports, etc. I just need to work out the logistics. So, please pray for me, us as I am looking for staff available to partner with me. Many are excited to go down, however, we are all very busy and I won't be around for much longer before I go home for my break. Starting this new area of ministry has been on my heart for the last few months, but it has been hard to find a good time to begin. Pray for connections with the kids. I am so excited, I feel like its been over a year, since I have worked with "street children" and can barely contain my energy take up the challenge to earn the children's trust. Street children are the hardest to reach and to earn their trust, but when they let you in; it feels rewarding beyond explanation. God is moving and stirring my heart, as well as others here. I will be coming up with the plan this week and then taking it hopefully to begin work by no later than next week.

Thanks for listening and your prayers. God is good!

Kids, stay clear of the traffick zone...

2010-06-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

Wow! I checked my blog and realized I have not updated it since we arrived more than 2 months ago..... so crazy, how time flies by. So, as I sit down and write, pondering what I can say and what I can not about our work here and what would be interesting to my few but loyal readers.... I will attempt to write and see what may come.

Its been quite a journey and adventure in Latin Amercia these past few years as I am pondering on my life since leaving my home. God has been faithful to provide for my every need. I now have so many stories I hadn't previously about how God does miracles just when we need Him most. He has been meeting my expectations and dreams by providing me with great friends, surrounding me with amazing communities who care about what is on God's heart, giving me new opportunities to grow and utilize my individual giftings, giving me an outlet to express my passion for the lost and most needy, giving me amazing ministry to participate in and also pioneer, even more importantly I love how He has allowed my faith in Him to be tested and grown on so many new levels.

So, briefly I want to mention the ministry we have been participating in here. I am excited to announce a few new things. We began last week ministering to the young girls in prison. It was a huge blessing. We were certain they were going to be pretty tough to reach. Thanks to God and a lady who has already been going to the prison, they were open to us and to hear more about who God is to us and what He has done in our individual lives. I really want to see God free them from their circumstances and to offer them a new way of life/perspective that only He can provide. We also have been starting to lead "justice night" for the Mission Adventure teams that we have been and will be hosting at our base for the next month or so. Our first group was so touched and challenged me just how much this young generation can care about the injustice that goes on in the world and make a difference for hurting individuals. I felt privileged to be able to raise awareness and channel, I hope, some of their passion and energy.

We are also looking into the possibility of working with the street kids in Zona Norte, Red Light District here, with a guy who has asked us to offer some sort of workshop or sports program to teach and offer something to the kids, in place of wandering the dangerous streets here. We also are looking into work, even more directly with trafficking victims and their children through another outlet. In addition, we will continue to work with tutoring the kids in the colonia that the base works with directly and getting training and experience with the anti-trafficking coalition we are assisting with here in San Diego and Tijuana.

Well, that is my life summed up here, with one other exciting news... I felt God release me to stay here in Tijuana. I desire to continue to learn and get trained from our contact who has worked in anti-trafficking issues for a very long time. I also will be assisting Amanda with the new Children at Risk School they are pioneering here in Tijuana, Mexico in January 2011.

Life in the danger zone...

2010-04-20T09:01:00.001-07:00

ok, peeps.... well... thought its about time to write an update. Its been a nice transition from the end of lecture phase and graduation to vacation and now the beginning of a new journey and place.

Tijuana is not as scary and crazy as everyone lets on. Certainly there are some shadey areas. Where we are staying is like a vacation destination. The base is under construction but has been in process for years. They have been able to raise enough money to build debt-free.... which is a huge blessing for them. The place is amazing; has the appearance of a resort. Of course, I don't live at the base but get to experience the amazing view of the ocean every day and even my apartment has an amazing view of the ocean from my rooftop/porch. Its been an amazing blessing so far....

We are just getting settled into our live here. Its been crazy busy getting adjusted and setting a schedule and beginning our work here. We have done some investigation work so far and learning a lot of spanish. I am excited how my spanish has progressed and am really ready to begin work in verbal translation. My team is also growing in their spanish skills. Pray for us all. We really desire to be able to communicate well with the locals and to be fluent on the tongue. God can do that. Also pray that God will continue to lead us as we are going to be doing some undercover work and entering into unknown territory to bring God's light to the darkness.

We will be also be going to the work with the kids in the colonias (poorer communities around here) and also youth in detention centers and those who come up to our base to do a youth program.

Well that is it for now... not too much exciting other than God is moving. My 2 students here are so amazing and I am so excited to see how God is moving in them and challenged by their relationship with God. They challenge me in my faith and I am inspired by their surrendered lives before God.

Fields of Mudan

2010-03-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

Very inspired this week… we have a speaker, Ro Potter, who has worked in anti-trafficking for 7 years. She is a year younger than me. Inspires me how she has already given so much of her life to this area of injustice and how professional, aware and educated she is in this area. She has traveled to more than 40 countries speaking and helping individuals, communities and organizations to fight against global trafficking. I am excited for our lectures. We have about 30 people from the base taking her classes and even though I have heard much on Human Trafficking, I am learning something new each day that passes. I am getting more and more excited to get started on outreach and to figure out what God is leading me to do in the anti-trafficking work.

Tijuana, Mexico, where 3 of us are going for the outreach, is one of the largest areas for trafficking globally. The two students that are going are excited as well. Amanda is our student who has been working in Tijuana already and in the red light district, in jouvenile detention centers, with families in the slums and youth in general with the members of the YWAM base there. She decided to do this school because last year when she was working in one of the slums and with a particular family, she discovered that the father was a well-known drug dealer in the area and there was rumor that they were prostituting their 6 year old daughter perhaps for drugs, money, etc. Both of us are brainstorming and anxious to put our heads together to go figure out what we can do to impact and work in this area in Tijuana. The other student going on outreach Anthony, I am excited to see how God has been moving him throughout this school. He has had a difficult childhood and in many ways can relate to those suffering children even more than us and his heart is so broken over them before the Lord. He, even at 20, inspires me. So excited to see what God will do in these months to come.

Ro had us watch the movie "Fields of Mudan," an extremely powerful and moving films that haunted us all this a.m. and will undoubtedly continue to haunt us all the rest of our lives. The video is about young Chinese girls who are trafficked into prostitution in the U.S. The story centers around a young, beautiful girl, probably about 6. We all wept together after watching 20 minutes of this harrowing tale which unfortunately we can't write off as.... "the is not real life, it doesn't happen anymore, etc." truth is... it is happening everyday in our neighborhoods and surroundings and we just don't realize it... i.e. here in San Jose, Costa Rica. Amanda just couldn't get the idea out of her head... that this little girl in Tijuana she knows is possibly undergoing the same. I don't want to face any of this. I want to run and go back to my safe life in the US. Truth is I am moved and changed, just as we are all in our school and we can't ignore or run any longer because we have been shown God's breaking heart for the little ones and we must act. Just as Ro was saying the church in the past and presently has failed to act, so God has gone elsewhere to awaken others to do His work and to bring His Justice. How sad He must be that not only are sooo many of His beloved children suffering each day but that their own family, the body of Christ, is allowing them to suffer over and over again because of our own ignorance and selfishness. Sorry for the rant... to conclude:

Please pray for us as we will be entering in some crazy areas. As most of you know, Tijuana is one of the most dangerous places globally for the moment, due to the drug wars. We don’t want to shy away from the need or the areas that most won't enter into out of fear, areas full of people suffering and who are desperate to know the hope that we possess through Christ and our testimonies. Please pray with us as we enter the spiritual battle field and also the darkness that surrounds that area, believing full well that God will go before us and be our light and wisdom and guide and that we are able to see many people come to know the Hope that He has already called them to.

Quotes from a student's writings

2010-02-15T08:44:00.000-08:00

I wanted to take a moment to allow my readers to truly partake in a little taste of my world. Some times I question why am I here and not working directly every day with kids in need around the world? Yet, the heart, passions and writings of my students often times remind me there is purpose and fruit from my efforts here in training and discipling others with as much and even more passion than I for children in need around the world... for this reason, I want to use this blog entry to just share a few brief writing and thoughts as my students are sharing in their classes, etc.

Break
Break
Break

Shatter…

God’s heart shatters.

Because…

Because Joe was supposed to live.
Because Nancy was His ballerina
Who’s feet never touched the ground.
Because Rosa’s smile was supposed
To fill rooms with light.
Because Greg was His soccer player
With a heart full of love.

But…

But instead God’s heart is in pieces
Because there never was a Joe…
Or a Nancy…
Or a Rosa…
Or a Greg…

Their breaths were never counted
Their smiles never enjoyed
Their eyes never opened
Their cries long forgotten.
They were never known.

But God knew them.
And now His heart is in pieces.

Tonight at prayer night, we prayed for abortion. It’s said that 24% or 1 out of every 4 children are never born because of abortion. Think about that.

Millions and millions of babies have been aborted. Those are millions upon millions of lives that God planned out, but ended before they even had a chance to begin. God is crying…His heart is broken because He knew each one of those children and had a specific plan for their life. He knew what they would love to do, He knew each moment of pain, love, joy and anguish that would happen in their life.  And that life is no longer being lived out.

written by Amanda Maune

prayers and pioneering ARE a part of the bigger picture!

2010-01-31T10:26:00.000-08:00

This past weekend we took our current students to Jaco to meet the people and connections we were blessed to make last year with during the internship phase. Last year, we thought going into it, we would be mostly pioneering, praying and researching the situation in Jaco. What we were not expecting was that we would get caught up in work and ministry that already has existed in Jaco. Instead, we saw an opportunity to infuse the work that already existed with a well-needed, breath of fresh energy to those who are working, almost completely on their own. I applaud those few who are already working and have for many years, making a difference no matter how small it seems on the grand scale of darkness that surrounds Jaco. One project we spent most of our time in was in a community know as "the river" or "the hole." This video explains the project and the woman and church who began the project

A Canon 7D short: El Hueco from gnarly bay on Vimeo.

Its only been 4 months since we last were in Jaco, yet I could see from being among the kids an the community once again, how it has changed by leaps and bounds. Bleu's long-term efforts there have become more visible than ever. Just to give you an example... In one particular family that lives in this community, the male figure in the family, had sexually abused both generations of his children. When we were there, we saw how it was affecting the children, particularly a little 4 year old girl. Her behavior mirrored her abuse. I remember that she would never come up and hug us, as all the other children would and that, she rejected any type of affection or care on our part. Now coming back months later, she runs into Bleu's arms and is a happy and smiling child versus the angry, downcast and disturbed child from before.

Bleu told us a person from the community asked her to pray for this particular man. Eventhough everything in her wanted to punch this guy instead of pray for him, she was compelled (by a source not her own ;-) to ask him his name and immediately his demeanor softened and melted. She did pray for him. Though she can't prove that he is a completely changed man, she does see a change in the community and his family.

I remember her telling us that we think we need to be counselors and trained proessionals to make a difference. Now she knows otherwise, its God's healing hand that makes the difference whether its through a trained professional or us. This little girl's smiles and renewed face of hope and restoration; this is all I need to realize that our time there and all Bleu's work, heartaches, and discouragements are well-worth it.

To adopt or not to adopt....

2010-01-24T15:11:00.000-08:00

This week we went to work with children in a program called Casa Viva. This ministry is unique in that it is the only organization that the government, i.e. child services here in San Jose has had a long-term relationship and built trust with. PANI, the only governmental agency in Costa Rica that works as child services asks the children to be placed in the Casa Viva's foster families that have attained to the Casa Viva standards.

At Casa Viva, we were given charge of picking up and playing with 7 children from around the city, as well as to make a space and time for the 4 children and next week, the 5 month old baby that are from the same mother to see each other and be reunited. It has been a HUGE blessing to see how the children thrive on seeing each other. I was most impacted in talking to the 14 year old girl who has basically raised her younger siblings until they were all put into foster care. As one of my students was sharing with us today… he felt her pain and the burden of her life. She was initially sort of downcast and seemingly with low self-esteem but we were able to coax cautious smiles from her. By the end of our time together she had opened up and was smiling and sharing with me and some of the others with more confidence and trust. I found it interesting that both my student and I felt strongly connected or broken over the welfare of this girl. I could sense that she has suffered some sort of trauma to her emotional, spiritual and mental development. She is their life support and yet mentally seems like a kid herself, but physically she looks more like a grown woman. Pray that as we are there longer with them and building relationships and the students are learning more spanish, we can make an impact.

Pray by some miracle a family is willing and able to take in all 5 children, despite that it is almost impossible, i.e. for a Costa Rican family to have enough room, desire or money to take in the 5 together. They need each other. Scott, our school leader, wants to take them in. Eventually, I am sure they will start adopting kids. They just had their 4th. His compassion and heart for the kids inspires me. One day, I hope to be ready for that kind of responsibility as well. If you saw them, you would fall in love immediately just as we have after one afternoon spent getting to know them. Can’t imagine anyone abandoning such amazing, beautiful children in need.

1st week (check)... phew!!!!

2010-01-18T15:25:00.000-08:00

Our first week of school flew by. Janna Moats, who took on the Children at Risk program from Kona, Hawaii came to speak to our students of the over-all introduction to Children at Risk globally. She also heads up the women and children's advocacy program that is soon to move its headquarters from Switzerland to Oregon. Check out what Janna is working on currently at:

http:/wcacentre.org

It was a pleasure to have her and to gain from her the knowledge and expertise she has gained throughout a process of many years. She had the students thinking and processing through their own giftings and areas of interest in working with children in need. In addition to the students, she is always a wise and useful tool for us as staff as we process with her, ideas and thoughts for our school and how to improve it and apply it to our current student's needs and interests.

The students are all so amazing! They have been struggling greatly in different areas. This is a very challenging school not only emotionally and spiritually, but academically as well. I am proud and cheer them on as they enter into their 2nd week of lecture phase. This 1st week was already so intense and they managed well, despite all of them feeling like they wanted to go home at some point last week or just before they arrived. Many have been physically sick while others have dealt with emotional and family crisis. Nonetheless they are all beginning to share and open up to each other and have already with us as staff. I am honored to see the strength and courage it took for each of them to come and give up their lives for this time. Additionally, I am excited for what they are already working in and where God will lead them in the future. Please pray with me as we journey together and for their sanity ;-) and health throughout the school!... as well as myne... lots of responsibility and challenges... God is faithful!

Home at last

2010-01-14T15:42:00.000-08:00

ok.... so my head is spinning a little from this crazy week! I arrived home to Costa Rica after red eye from San Francisco. I have not been able to unpack or settle in my room yet due to working and being with the students until often 10 p.m.. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday so I can feel a little less like I am treading water.

My head was already spinning with ideas and the information I received from the 2 weeks I was in San Francisco learning about counter-trafficking and now even more so with details about our school and each of our students. God is good and faithful! I am sooo excited to be back and feel right where I a supposed to be and with purpose. Our school, including students and staff are from U.S., Canada, Germany, Costa Rica, Guatemala and South Korea. Out of our 9 students, 4 of them are guys. We are sooo excited about this. Its extremely rare to have such an equal balance of males to females particularly in this school.

Investigator Academy with the Not for Sale Campaign

2009-12-03T10:21:00.000-08:00

I wanted to give everyone a heads up of what I will be doing after my time at home. Before I returned to the States, I sat in on a teleconference that was hosted by Steve Goode, one of our YWAM directors in Thailand, and delegates from the Not for Sale Campaign. This informational meeting and question and answer session with them and several YWAM bases was set up in order for us to join forces in the plight against Human Trafficking globally. To learn more about both Steve Goode's work in Thailand and also the Not for Sale Campaign, check out these websites:
http://www.ywam-mercy.org/
http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

During this teleconference I was encouraged to go to a training they will be hosting in San Francisco this month. Due to the lack of funding and time, I initially pushed the idea aside as too many details would have to work out and quickly for that to even be a consideration for me. However, I am always reminded that if we make an effort to do the possible God will do the impossible. That is exactly what He did. I am still amazed by how all the details worked out. I am not exactly sure why exactly He is leading me this way, but I am sure I will discover more and more this coming year. Please read the link below to read up on the details of the training I will attend and to partner with me in praying God's divine wisdom and direction as to what I will take from this time of training. As I am sure I have written about previously, Costa Rica has become known to be the "Little Thailand" in relation to its trafficking and sexual exploitation numbers. I know somehow this training will be just the beginning in work related to trafficked children.

http://http//www.notforsalecampaign.org/news/2009/09/16/winter-abolitionist-academy/

Please pray with me as I am excited and also anxious at the same time to gain new tools and understanding in this area of injustice world-wide.

Brokeness and Restoration

2009-10-29T08:44:00.000-07:00

I was able to hang out with one of our students from this year's school before I left Costa Rica for the Holidays. We spent a day together hanging out, catching up, talking about our presents, past months (she stayed in Costa Rica to do her outreach … so except for one brief time of passing…. I hadn’t seen her for about 7 months or more). She is doing amazing and I am so excited. Honestly, students like her, are why we are here doing this school. Both her and I discussed how miraculously God brought her to this school. She learned about the school and applied for it within 2 weeks of when the school began in January. She gave up her job security and came to take the school. Really, it was all God’s perfect timing for her life. The lecture phase was hard for her. Almost from the first week on, she struggled. We discussed topics such as child abuse and protection. She was abused in her past and during this time all the memories and trauma she experienced, that she assumed she had put away in her memories, God was bringing back to the surface and she was struggling and really, in ways drowning in the pain again and re-experiencing it.

When she started opening up to us as staff and the other students, she was at a point of drowning. To be quite honest, we felt incapable and unsure as to how to deal with the pain and suffering she was experiencing. Though this was so horrible for her, fortunately, God’s timing is perfect even in our pain and suffering. He knew exactly what she needed. We had just made some contacts with a local organization called Viva and there we had met a counselor who specials in child abuse, and so we put her in contact with our friend at Viva. This meeting between our student and our contact at Viva, became the breaking point and the start of a process of healing for our student. She had many long and hard months to come, yet God is soo faithful. Seeing her yesterday, clarified that God is using the school to see beautiful women and children restored to their healed and rightful place in your kingdom. Even more, in the case of our student. She has not only gone through remarkable transformation; from unbelievable pain, suffering and depression, to excitement about how God has healed her and is continuing to do so.

She is confidant that God will use her in the future for other children and women who have suffered, as she has. God brought about so many things to provide for her in this time of healing, so many miracles. Let me see if I can remember some of them she told me about yesterday: the school was in the perfect timing…. she was forced to deal with this injustice in her life, to no longer ignore this pain and suffering and was able to finally get real help. She was handed the courage and tools to take her case to court. She just met the deadline, within less than a month of the 8 year statute of limitations, in order to put this case before court and end the cycle of abuse for others in contact with the abuser. She was in a safe environment not only with the help she was able to get but in working her internship with Viva and also living in a safe environment on base. Now, God is providing for her again financially. Her biological father came back into her life during this process and has been providing for her ever since, even to the point of paying for her to go to University, housing, food, living expenses, etc.

She said emotionally and spiritually she feels so at home at the base and with the many individuals who have loved her during this very hard process over the past year, i.e. as her family turned against her. Even in that, God is restoring her family through our student’s testimony and ending the cycle of abuse for so many in her family and even being a witness and testimony of God’s love for us all and His unwillingness for us to remain in brokenness and suffering from the injustices of this world.

Endings and New Beginnings

2009-09-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

Looking back on this past year, I am both so thankful and overwhelmed. I can’t believe it has already been a year since I first moved to Costa Rica. So much has happened, so much change. I was counting how many different places I have lived in this past year and the grand sum is 5 going on 6. Currently, the San Jose base is moving. When I rerturn from Panama, I will be moving to a new location to finish off my year here.

The chidlren at Risk 2009 school ended last week. We are so proud of the remaining 3 students who finished 9 long months of training. It was intense and at times, we all wanted to give up. Looing back, I can see how God was wih us every step of the way an we can see fruit in many of the lives of the children and youth we worked with. We also can mark how much God has worked on us individually and how we grew and matured in Him and with each other. Two of our students traveled back to Jaco from San Jose to make-up a week of outreach they missed previously. Renate, th e other student, and I are in Panama City. Originally I was going to travel to Bocas Del Torro, a vacation spor on the border of Costa Rica and Panama, for a week vacation and to renew my visa, but I continued on with an unplanned trip further in to Panama City. Its been so much fun and an added blessing seeing the Canal and the sights here while still resting at the base here in Panama City and also starting to plan for next year’s school in 2010. I am getting very excited about the next school and have been given a lot of new ideas and advice on how to improve this year’s school from previous students and staff. I know the next year will be an added blessing and even better school.

Please pray for our students. As far as I know, we have only 1 application (official) as of now. I have heard from many who are interested in the school. Please pray God sends the students and all the funding and instructors that will make our school quality and honor God in the calling He has laid on many people’s hearts. I would appreciate prayer support as well in the planning stages of the next school that it all runs smoothly and that I don’t’ get overwhelmed in the process. This is only my 2nd school I have staffed and as far as I know I will be the only staff.

Jaco Outreach

2009-08-31T14:35:00.000-07:00

We have been adjusting to life here in Jaco and making this place our own for the last several months. I have learned to love this place and community as well as the students. We will all be sad to leave. We have only 2 weeks left and although I am anxious to have completed this first school and get a little break. I am very sad it is coming to an end, the time here in Jaco and the time with my students.

We have been participating in a program started by a lady named Blue and the church we attend here. They built a little room for a tutoring program for the kids in an area of Jaco know as the river community. Here the kids have few opportunities for a good education. Please pray for the children here, that the education system is changed and that the kids don’t give up on their education all together. The kids are amazing here. Often times the kids here raise their own little brothers and sisters as the responsibilities fall to them at such a young age. The members of Radical, the church who works in this area are truly very “relevant” in their community. It is a small church, more like family to me. The majority of the congregation is teenagers. The pastors who run the church and also Christian Surfers ministry have a lot of work on their hands along with other church volunteers who work with the youth on a regular basis. Two of our students went to visit the woodworking shop that one of the guys from church started to help out the youth in the community and give them the experience and skills to work with their hands and earn money. It’s a huge blessing for them but we realize it often goes unappreciated so please pray for Fernando and Jessica as they are amazing in their endurance and strength working with the youth despite little to no appreciation in return. To us, their love for the boys is a huge reflection of God’s unconditional love for us. The boys truly are amazing and we have become their friends, more even so our students with them but we also realize we are here for a short time and more their friends than authority so we share in the prayers and burden for Fernando and Jessica who will continue the task and work with them once we leave.

We have been assisting the church here in various areas as well as Christian Surfers with what is needed in the moment. Our students are also working on collecting surveys and all the information the can gather regarding the needs here and for us to pass this vital information along to YWAM, San Jose and for whoever would like to continue the work here or partner with someone to benefit this area for Christ. We hope to have extensive data to pass along and the many connections and relationships that we have built in our time here. This time has been yet another challenging and excellent pioneering training for me. We are constantly trying to figure the next step out along the way. It has stretched our faith and abilities intensely.

God has also been working on me and showing me areas in my life which need uprooting. I am discovering fresh perspective on how I am a reflection of His love and grace. We are all growing together even more intensely than in Bogota and its challenging at times and yet so good in others.

We would appreciate your prayers as we close out these next 2 weeks in Jaco.

Blessings,

Rachel

Greetings from San Jose, Costa Rica,

2009-07-26T11:18:00.000-07:00

Its odd to feel that San Jose is our get away destination.... usually we would seek the beach to flee the city. Since we have been living in the heat and at the beach the city feels so refreshing and like home. These past 3 weeks have been amazing and challenging. We have had the opportunity to do a lot of introspection as a team and individually. God has been speaking to all of us a lot. I am thankful for this time in ways it has been more challenging than Bogota as we are being stretched in relating to one another as a team and also pioneering and figuring out our purpose for being in Jaco. On the other hand it seems far more relaxing and less hectic here in Jaco than in Bogota.

Newest Epiphany

2009-07-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had this epiphany that made everything so clear….my purpose in being here in this town…

Yesterday morning was a very tough day. I woke up grumpy, tired of the heat, sleepless nights, uncomfortable living conditions and on top of it all, we had to work through some cultural and communication issues within our group. It was amazing and God worked it all out for the better but this level of discomfort made me so much more sensitive to the happenings around me.

In particular I was reminded of a family we met here. They are immigrants in this country. The family consists of three children and there is no father figure. Instantly we have all made connections with them. They in essence define to me what its like for an average poor family who lives in this area. Their mother is a prostitute and the 17 year old daughter wants to follow in her mother’s footsteps. They truly are a beautiful family in every way. The teenage boy to me is most affected by the injustice that life has brought to this family. I have observed and had conversations with him and on the outside he is a respectful and easy-going kid but I have noticed an underlying anger and dangerous emotions boiling over in him and another side that I fear for him. He has become violent towards his mother as a result of his anger. In addition, the youngest is a sweet girl of approximately 10 years.

On a positive note Suzanne, one of our students here has been building a relationship with the 17 year old who is amazing and talented and is very open to Suzanne. Additionally, they are going to the church here that we are involved in and the congregation welcomes them with open arms and they are beginning to be fed but is an overwhelming task for such a small congregation and the pastors. The Pator desire training in working with these types of kids and families. The good thing is that the pastors are so supportive and compassionate and are committed to working against the traps that these families have become entangled in this area.

For me personally I was overwhelmed last night with this dire situation in this particular family. I particularly felt burdened for the boy in the family. Maybe I felt a little his struggle as the man/protector of his family and growing up without a father/male figure and yet feeling the full anger and resentment of the injustice in his life and also letting his anger out on his mother and how she doesn’t truly realize her value and how this affects her family and the shame he must feel for his family and also love for his mother.

After praying and truly walking through my sadness and hopelessness over this situation, I read this from Henry Nowen’s book called “Reaching Out.” This is where I feel God is speaking to me … “What is my new desert. The name of it is compassion. There is no wilderness so terrible, so beautiful, so arid and so fruitful as the wilderness of compassion… It is in the desert of compassion that the thirsty land turns into springs of water, that the poor possess all things… a compassionate man can no longer look at these manifestations of evil and death as disturbing interruptions of his life plan but rather has to confront them as an opportunity for the conversion of himself and his fellow human beings.”

Planting seeds in Jaco, Costa Rica

2009-07-12T17:17:00.000-07:00

Dear friends and family,

We wanted to write to keep you informed of what we have been doing in our school. First of all, we have just returned from 3 amazing months in Bogota, Colombia. We had the privilege to work with children in the ministry “Shaping Lives” and were able to learn a lot about the lives of the children, some who have been abused and exploited physically and emotionally. We were given the opportunity to share with them about a loving and forgiving God who is capable of cleaning hearts and changing their lives and futures. We were able to see in their faces a new smile, full of joy, peace, trust and above all, love. It was a very satisfying time, filled with purpose. We feel honored to be a part of what God is doing in Bogota, knowing that He is using our lives to change others.

Now begins a new step in our training for Children at Risk. We are still in the practical part of our training, this time we are on the Pacific coast of Cost Rica, in one of the most touristic places of the country, called Jaco. Here the needs are derived from issues such as drug abuse, prostitution, the breakdown of family structures,etc. These problems are are a result of the lack of culture and values and we will be working to fight against this pattern in the next 3 months. The amount of Christians in this place is minimal. The majority of them do not have a clear message of who God is and what His love and forgiveness towards humanity truly signifies. We are working with the ministry “Christian Surfers” to help them with one of the biggest and most important surfing events directed by the brand BILLABONG. We are also helping in a camp for children who desire to learn to surf. Additionally we will help them with a surf competition called Eternal Crown, organized by the ministry. These and many other activities organized by the municipality, Christian church and missionaries with whom we are joining during our stay in Jaco. We hope to plant seeds in this area, one of our purposes here is to leave Jaco with firmly established relationships so that in the future we could continue with this project in Jaco and continue making a difference in the lives of people here.

We are still praying for more supporters who would like to support us in prayer and financing. We believe that God can change and transform lives through our work and our personal relationships with Him. If you would like to be part of this work and feel in your heart to help us, we leave you with an invitation to contact us and let us know the way in which you want to help us.

If you want to know how you can donate financially, the following are instructions for how to do so:

Make checks payable to Youth With A Mission or YWAM. Please do not put the missionaries name anywhere on the check. Enclose a separate note designating this donation for Rachel Grimes (Rachel has already set up an account through YWAM. Send checks to:

Youth With A Mission (or YWAM)
4444 Edgar Park Avenue
El Paso, TX 79904

You can make one donation at a time with a credit card on our web site www.ywamepj.org through PayPal or if you have a PayPal account you can send a donation directly to the e-mail address below. Make sure you put who this donation is for in the PayPal Item.

Our telephone number is 919-757-3387.
Our e-mail address is accounting@ywamepj.org

We pray that God blesses your life in abundance.

Sincerely,

The team for Children at Risk School in YWAM, San Jose, Costa Rica
Jessi, Rachel, Renate Warner, Elena and Suzanne

Formando Vidas en Bogota, Colombia

2009-06-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

6/12/09

I can’t believe that its already been almost 9 months since I left for Costa Rica. Its seems like a lifetime and yet so short of a time. The school is almost two-thirds of the way over and I am already sad to think of life without my students. So sad, they have become a part of me and my family here. Its also sad to think of leaving Colombia. We have all 5 gotten attached to the kids and families and ministry here. It is such an amazing ministry. I can’t truly express how important, vital and relevant this ministry is. I continuoulsy am overwhelmed by the dedication and work and love it took/takes to have built this ministry some 20+ years ago. The ministry’s website is:
http://www.ywamconnect.com/sites/streetkids/HOMEPAGE
for those of you who are interested. There are so many testimonies here of how with God’s help lives are being restored. So many children/adults here who are now stable and loving individuals who possess the same compassion to reach out to others who are/were in their same situations in life before God rescued them from the injustice and poverty that was placed upon them. My students are very sad to leave the community and the children and what they are working in. However we are getting excited to see what God is going to be using us to do in Costa Rica for the rest of the internship.

I am amazed personally how much I have learned and grown this year i.e. in my time here. Everyday I learn something new about raising kids, loving unconditionally, stretching my patience and learning about myself and how God views me and others around me. Looking back I see how I thought so differently about so many things tand hat my view and thoughts have changed. Before I came to Bogota I never imagined I would love the work as much as I do or the culutre, country. I also assumed I would desire to be with the little babies in the ministry or work directly on the streets. To my surprise the areas of work that I have commited to here because of how I feel drawn to is with little kids in the drop in center and also talking and playing cards and sports with the older teenagers/ young adults here in the city. Its crazy, I never felt those were areas I had anything to give to. I will tell more in a future update about the kids in the drop in center and show pics. My heart is there. I am definitely praying about coming back. Please pray with me.

Please pray for 2 of my students who left yesterday for a medical clinic. They traveled all day by bus to Medellin, the border of Panama and will continue by plane. They were excited but also nervous about going to more remote parts of Colombia. Please pray for their safetey, protection and health and that their time there is a blessing to all around. I wish I could have gone. They text messaged that they are good and arrived safely thus far. Pray also for our last 10 days here that we complete what God has given us to accomplish in this time and that the transition for us leaving will go smoothly with the kids and us. Its an attachment we are already concerned about. Pray for doors to open and the organizational part of the next stage of inernship in Jaco, Costa Rica.

Love and Blessings.

Rachel

human trafficking

2009-02-10T16:39:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling the impression that God is directing me towards beginning to understand what my role is in the human trafficking problem all over the world. The sex trade industry has grown immensely here in Costa Rica. It is a very grave situation. I remember last year sitting in on a meeting by the “Not for Sale Campaign” in KC where for the first time I was actually hearing someone talk about what they are doing to combat this atrocity in the U.S. It was convicting, disheartening and yet encouraging to know someone cared enough to start the work and give their lives to end human trafficking. It is as if I have come full circle to this issue again here in our school. We are going to be attending a conference on trafficking and on prostitution here in San Jose during our school. We desire to expose our students more and more to this area of need here in Costa Rica and the world. We had them all watch a movie called Trade. It was intense and brought up some discomfort and issues in the lives of our students as well as our own. I highly recommend the movie but must warn that the graphic and true content is almost too overwhelming to take in, i.e. if you watch it prior to bed as we all did. Nonetheless it is very valid and eye-opening, even with the Hollywood (good guys win) ending.

I also have recently reviewed the website: http://causes.com/p/27/21774569?m=cc29ebc2 and am sending out the petition to my contacts on Facebook and encourage anyone who reads this blog to sign it and to read more about what is happening not only in third world countries, but at home in the U.S. This leads me to talk about where we have decided to send our students for their outreach/internship. We are first sending them to Bogota, Colombia where they will work in a ministry that works with street kids and is assisting them in rebulding their lives. The second phase of outreach will be here in Costa Rica in a beach town called Jaco. It is touristic and known for the sex trade industry. Please pray with us to know where and how and when God will use us to help end this horrific and tragic movement toward selling humans, i.e children. The dream is to start a community center there. Our leader Scott went with our base leader to Jaco a week ago to meet several high up officials, one being the mayor of the town. They are all backing us starting permanent work with the children in Jaco and want to purchase property and support us in the endeavor. Its all been amazing.
.... I have much more to say.... but will write again soon

Earthquake damage

2009-01-22T05:15:00.000-08:00

We were able to go with our class and another staff member who is just now starting a Mercy Ministry on base to help out with the earthquake site. It was such a crazy and amazing time. It took 2 hours or more to get there and the road trip was so much fun and the scenery amazing. We couldn't see entirely all the damage the earthquake did, due to it being a foggy day, but what we did see was crazy. Roads were damaged and cracked and there were whole ravines of land slides. When we got to the site, we were very unprepared. It was the coldest day I have ever experienced in Costa Rica. It was raining and the wind was pelting and freezing, much like you would imagine in Scotland or Chicago. Yet the workers, there were so plentiful despite the miserable weather. W were all determined and in good spirits. We all got soaked and up to our ankles in red clay mud.

Despite this it was such an amazing time. Half our team helped transport huge bags of food for the camp. The other half helped take down and move tents, temporary shelters made of tarps, that had been set up for the volunteers from the rain and wind . One of our students and I went to the camp. The "camp" is really just a village of small tents set up as temporary housing for those who lost their homes in the earthquake. There is probably about 30 -40 tents all arranged in a huge carnival-like covering that surrounds the village. It was crazy but an efficient set up from the rain. We played with the kids in what little space we could find amongst all the tents set up side by side. We played on the muddy ground. Nonethless it was a blast. My student was so amazing she knows a bunch of kids songs in Spanish and together as a team we were able to communicate with the children in spanish.

I was amazed at how the community, having lost everything yet so content and unconcerned about the freezing cold they were living in while we felt as if we were dying. The police and all the volunteers were amazing and in great spirits. It was an amazing experience. I hope we can go back sometime. I know our base and many others will continue to bring help and I prayer support to them. Please pray with us.

Is this not the type of fasting I have chosen...?

2009-01-13T14:35:00.000-08:00

I just happened to open my Bible today and open to Isaiah 58. It is ironic as I chose this day to fast with my friend. We had committed to fasting once a week before I returned to Costa Rica. Today it made it even more clear why I am fasting... a more tangible purpose. Three of our students told us today they are considering not completing the school. One of the students has a family crisis going on the other 2 are doubting their purpose in being here. Either way, I have felt this since the week the school started that it is a spiritual battle for the lives of these students, our school, what God will teach us all in this time and the forgotten lives we will be able to touch more wholistically as a result of this school.

I was praying for all 3 of them today and felt strong words and what exactly to pray for each of them. It is very interesting... feeling God opening up my thoughts and mind and spirit again to hearing His voice and practicing my prophetic ear. It is interesting as well as I feel that since my spirit has been reawakening to these things from God, I have felt so stretched. I feel a great loss in being here, very insecure and unsure of myself of even doubting being valued, needed and loved. I know it is spiritual. I am not a person to doubt these things, typically.

Pray for us all and God's clear and divine wisdom and guidance in this school as well as each one of our students and us as staff and leaders.

Dreaming of a White Christmas

2008-12-11T07:28:00.000-08:00

It is good to be home from my journey... every step of the way God took care of me and answered my prayers. It was gorgeous weather in Florida and it was snowing here at home.

I feel so blessed by my family and friends here. I missed you all dearly and am glad to be back to celebrate Jesus' birth together.

Looking back over my first months in San Jose.... I can see how God answered prayers. When I first got there we had only 2 students and in a matter of a few months our school grew to between 11 - 13 students. We also made soo many contacts and were able to network with a lot of organizations in San Jose who are currently working with children at risk and who need a lot of support. Perhaps our most beneficial contact was with Red Viva who is an organization constructed with the sole intention to help contact and resource organizations working to better the lives of children all over the world. They we will be working along side us to help us out in any way we may need, instructors, material, tools, etc. Viva was founded by a YWAMer and he is coming to San Jose in January. We are praying that he could make an appearance at our school to challenge our students as to what one guy in his early twenties did.... start a world-wide organization and pioneer a new movement with the urgency of protecting this generation and the one to come. He is now only in his 30s and has a branch of his ministry in many countries around the world. Aditionally God has been providing many speakers. Many who we will not have to fly in, which is a huge blessing as we are a pioneering school, thus having basically no budget to afford even materials for our new school.

I am sooo excited to see what God will be doing this coming season.

networking in San Jose

2008-10-13T16:18:00.000-07:00

Jessi and I went to meet with a school in a poor district here in San Jose. This organization has a private school and teaches the children in this community. A contact, who one of our leaders here on base, took us there and was very kind and informative. She works with kids here in San Jose.

At the school we meet the organization's director. She was interested in the training we have to offer her teachers and for local members of the church. It felt good to begin making contacts and to become more aware of the need here locally. It was informative and will guide us better as to how to organize the training. I was able to communicate without a translator. It felt good to have made contacts and be able to communicate with locals.

Thank you Lord for the first of many doors you will be opening for us here and abroad to receive help and give help and to start bettering the lives of children at risk all over.

praying for students

2008-10-05T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have been praying and feel a strong urgency to pray for our students that are going to participate in January. It is a burden of myne and I know my team here, that other students and people on the base become more aware of the great need and impact work with these hurting little ones can have. We have such a great burden and sometimes, I sense, the others that have been here for longer than I have become discouraged in the lack of urgency we have to begin this process of redemption for the hurting children of the world.

Only You can give others the same burden or an even greater burden and allow them to know and understand this great crisis that is affecting our world today and will continue to send our world into utter chaos without Your grace and if we continue to ignore the desperate cries of these little ones who are so close to Your heart.

Lord, direct us how to transfer this realization to the others around us and those who are far away. Those who are so capable to change the lives of these ones neglected... Continue to help us seek You in this and to share in the burden and not try to carry it alone. Bring students and unify those who are already working to care for the children in risk all over the world in order to be far more effective and not to get discouraged or be overcome by the enemy and his desires to corrupt everything pure and good that You have endowed upon the children of the world. Give us all and many, many more the same heart and compassion You have for these little ones and to obey the call to lay our lives down for them.... even as I type, I am realizing how much that is asking of myself and I may not be ready, but I entirely trust in You to do just that, in Your perfect way.

loneliness

2008-10-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

This is the first day since I have arrived that I feel down and a little sad. In processing it, I realize a little that it is due to simply the overwhelmingness (is this a word?) of the time and energy it takes to build relationships and feeling a little lost in a culture and people. I speak the language but not the culture.

I am tired... so far, these first few days, I have pushed myself and stepped into uncomfortable situations for me where I had to exert myself. It was good, is good, but I am tired today.... tired of trying to be the extrovert I am not. It is hard when one is introverted to connect with others right away or to even get to show oneself and reveal one's character to others.

I want to laugh and have fun and be silly, but I am usually only like that when I feel comfortable enough with others to do so and I let them in. I very much appreciate the time I spent with the Freemans and Jessi today. I allows me to see into the future of how we will connect as a team and I look forward to being myself with them more and more. For now, I have to exert myself to go there and not be soo serious. It is true though, in order to start a school with such a serious and oppresive material matter/focus, you have to let your self have fun and just BE, laugh, cry, relax, do whatever it takes to heal and to deal....

more later.... gotta go

monsoon season

2008-09-29T16:39:00.001-07:00

Wow! the rain truly is continuous in rainy season here... who knew.... I can't remember it raining so much in my first stay in Costa Rica.

Its been amazing feeling the affects of rainy days... kinda lazy, but mostly restful. It has been nice to just BE and get to know people and have time for conversations and more importantly conversations with our Creator. It is a little stretch for me though as I am used to the business of my culture and multi-tasking. These times of rest have definitely heightened my senses of the spirit around me. It is nice to be in a very light and spirt saturated environment. I have been feeling such inspiration and renewal in God's presence as I attempt to stop and listen again. I have been feeling new awakenings of gifts I forgot about... language, intercession, the prophetic.

I have also been able to spend time with the Freemans. This time has been very enjoyable freeing as I miss the families I worked for dearly, i.e. the Davis family as the Freemans have 3 little boys around the same age.

Can't wait to meet Jessi and begin our work with those who need our love the most.... the neglected ones whose voices cry out for us to hear and help. God, show us how to start this new school and inspire and train others in their desires to defend the rights of these little ones who are so dear to Your heart. There is sooo much love in people's hearts that is not being given/stretched due to lack of understanding and overwhelming darkness that surrounds them. I am fully aware Satan has come to destroy these precious little ones... I am also so much more aware of God's abounding love to reach and restore them to their place in his open and willing arms.

Jermemiah 32:26-27 "Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah: " I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"

day one of a new beginning

2008-09-28T16:21:00.000-07:00

I arrived safely after a turbulent flight.... saying goodbye to friends and family was difficult but I am definitely glad to be here.

God is faithful to work out every little detail. I walked out of the airport to the curb in the midst of chaos to hear my name being called as Scott and Leslie were driving by to pick me up. I couldn't have asked for more perfect timing... It felt very good to hear someone who knew me in the midst of the chaos. They were so welcoming and loving. I already love that family dearly! I can't wait to meet Jessi and start our journey together!

Later I was a bit overwhelmed with all the people I was being introduced to trying to find some solitude but I have felt blessed by everyone's kindess and hospitality.

As I was praying... I felt an overwhelming peace and comfort that I have arrived to a place where I am supposed to be and feel it is my home. I can't explain it. It could be only God.

Leslie told me later that she had to contain her excitement upon my arrival. I feel blessed again that I am needed, wanted and have a place her in this new home.